


Let the dread wolf take me.

by DaniCousland524



Category: Dragon Age Inquisition - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Searching for answers, Suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2731124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniCousland524/pseuds/DaniCousland524
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is based after the shocking events and ending of the game.The continued love journey between Solas/Inquisitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Contains spoilers. 
> 
> I do not own characters except for my inquisitor. Rights go towards Bioware.

It didn't feel like a victory at all.

The happiness, the laughter, the cheering in the distance, I should be one of them, I wanted to be one of them. All those people who fought for their lives, fought for freedom, for peace, where now celebrating after the victory of Corypheus's defeat.

But how could I?

I, Inquisitor Lavellan, couldn't dare to bring myself to rejoice in our glory. Not when the most important person in my life vanished. He had been missing for almost a month now. For one whole painful month, not one word, not one trace, not even a tiny hint. Leliana, one of my advisors assured me that her spies were searching for him. They found the Hero of Ferelden and the Grey Warden commander.

But why couldn't they find him?

I twirled the food on my plate with my utensil, letting it seep through my fork and flop on my plate. It looked like a splattered painting. Varric had put forward a dwarven buffet filled with meat, rice, vegetables and all the food you could imagine. I grabbed a plate and settled down around my comrades, but I had no appetite. I couldn't eat. I wanted to, but I just couldn't.

"Aren't you hungry boss?" Iron Bull asked, his mouth still full as he began to cram more food in his bulging mouth. I stared down at my plate again, wondering whether or not if I should take a bite. Not to satisfy my hunger, but to at least satisfy them.

"Er, boss?"

"Hmm?"

I looked  up to be greeted by everyone's gaze. I gave them silence, but they all seemed to be looking for an answer. That's when Varric decided to break the emptiness of the dining. "Do you not like the food?" His voice sound worried. Which is weird coming from Varric, the great storyteller, the unwelcome tagalong, and of course the ridiculously _handsome_ dwarf as he would say.

"It's not that...It's just-" I hesitated. I couldn't let them know. I was the inquisitor of course. People looked at me for leadership, guidance, hope. I can't let them see me, no not like this. I'm a wreck an emotional wreck. What would they think of the inquisitor that helped them saved the world, was nothing more than a fragile dandelion under the skin?

"I- Exscuse me I think I need some fresh air." I got up from the table, dispersed my utensils and ran up the staircase. I stopped to get a heave of breath and to push down my overwhelming feelings inside me. The feelings where unbearable. My heart was throbbing, my mind bouncing, everything was spinning. I heard footsteps in the distance. I had slightly turn my head as I felt the gentle presence of a hand on my shoulder.

"Inquisitor." Cassandra's voice wasn't gentle, but it was soothing. "You still haven't gotten over it have you? It has been about a month now and I can still sense the anguish you carry." I froze dead in place. My heart wanted to stop. "It must be a heavy burden to bare. The mingling of others, you've whiteness so many deaths so many lives where in your hands, so much...blood. Nobody could walk the path you have lead and come out the same. It's no wonder you-"

"I'll be alright Cassandra." I cut her off before she could say more. "You don't need to worry about me I'll be fine." I managed to summoned a small smile just for tricks as it seemed to work. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm tired. I will return to my quarters for the evening." She gave me a quick nod of acknowledgment and return to the dining.

I just wanted to get away from all this. I wanted to be alone for some time. Although, not exactly alone. I wanted _him_. The only company I desired but he wasn't here. I reached the door to my quarters. I was finally home. It has been my home for many months now, I could not dare return to my clan. For my life would never have been the same and it won't.

I looked around my empty room for a sign of hope. He was not there. Of course not, he's not coming back. What was I thinking? That he would miraculously show up? That he would be waiting here for me? My eyes where burning but I didn't cry. Even when I'm alone I can't show my true feelings. For I was the inquisitor. I at least have that composure left in me.

I should be happy. I needed to be happy. Corypheus's had been defeated, the world is at a stable peace. But all did was put on a disguise. It became harder to uphold lies with each passing day. When where they going to see through me? He had always seen straight through me. He always saw my true self. I could be me when I was with him. I could laughed, cry, get angry. I revealed my inner self, and now there is no one, no one except for cole. Of course, he was a spirit of compassion he could see my suffering. I'm sure he wanted to help for it was in his nature, but I can't, I won't this is my burden to bare.

I stepped out onto the balcony. I was greeted with cold air. The night was clear. The moonlight shined bright around the dark world. It was cold. The vision of the mountainside was glorious. A white blanket covered the area. It was quite. All except a black Raven. It sat on the tree branch, singing. It would come every so often and sit on the tree branch and sing as I watched it hummed the night away.

I remembered everything so clearly, when I first laid my eyes on this deserted keep. He had guided me here. To rebuild what was lost. He had been there from the very start of my journey. He was by my side, when I was unconsciously sleeping to keep the mark from killing me. The destruction of Haven, building skyhold, orlais, entering the fade, the temple of mythal, the fall of Corypheus. But now he was gone. The fresh air I desired didn't calm my thoughts. It seemed nothing could be able to accomplish that anymore.

I went back inside my room. Weariness was slowly taking me over. I approached my dresser and slowly opened one of the drawers. I pulled out a silky green gown with white lace. I took off my armor for the day and slid my gown over my body. It was tight and it easily hugged my curves. I looked up at the mirror above my dresser. I saw my bare face, free from my Vallaslin.

 _You are so beautiful_.

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist. I turned away and Plopped on my bed. Everything had reminded me of him. Which had angered me. I was angry with Solas when he had first left me. What he advised, worked in a way. My sharp pain turned into a powerful tool, a weapon to slay my enemies. I believed he would explain everything like he had promised, it would make sense on why.

Why after everything?

 I believed we could be together again. A world full of peace, no longer in lingering wars, no longer full of demons, no longer with Corypheus. I thought that was what he meant after our first kiss. _Not in this world._

I guess not.

His final leaving after the great battle had hit me even harder. Anger and betrayal had rushed through me like waves in an ocean. He lied. I hated him for that, but could I really? Every aspect of my new life, every place I went to where we explored, he wouldn't leave my head. Everything reminded me of him. Even my own room. Even my _bed_.

I couldn't take it, couldn't handle it no longer. I let it flow out let it all flow out. I let my tears bring me to sleep but not before I heard the whistling cry of the bird outside of my room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want ya'll to assume she's to obsessed with Solas breaking up with her. It's more like, You're so in love with someone and they tell you how much you mean to them and suddenly leaves you without reason and why and your just like so heartbroken by that fact. But of course it's more than that. She gets backbone and things will happen.

It was a slow process for my dreams to return, but it was pleasant. The loss I had experience saddened me a great deal as if it affected my everyday life. I had worried on the spirits and demons as it would have been drawn to by my feelings. I had needn't to worry though, for he had taught me to prevent them from their true nature.

Or so I thought.

When I awoke I found myself in a place that I once remembered. A forest I had once visited when I was with my clan. It had drawn my attention when I was young women. The trees had felt alive, the long blades of grass tickling my skin. There was history there, something of great importance that I could have once learned. But my clan found nothing, and I wasn't allowed to free lance either. They had watched me from a great distance, for as they did not want to be drawn into any unnecessary trouble. I was to become the first after all, and they needed someone with a well discipline mind.

I focused slowly, became aware of my surroundings. I was in a dream. A dream I could vaguely remember....yet different, as it was not usual as dreams were. Then I soon realized, I was in the fade.

I was selfish too, of course. If he could not be found by her spies, maybe I could find him? Dreaming, searching through out the fade. What else could I do? But Solas didn't want to be found. He had left me, had put our relationship behind him and I couldn't get over that fact. I wondered into the fade looking for him. Just like leliana's spies I found nothing, still no trace of him.

I blamed myself for all this. For all this searching. Why? Why did he break his promise to explain everything to me? Why did he abandoned me? I should have demanded answers right then, when he had left me the first time. I could have changed everything. I shouldn't have taken my eyes off of him after Corypheus, I shouldn't allowed the orb to be destroyed. He would've stayed. He could've stayed. That one question would come back a thousand times. Why had he left me In the first place? 

He had been with me all that time. I had seen his worse fear in the fade. On the graveyard carved onto his gravestone my heart nearly broke, shattered. Those words, Dying alone. I promised to myself that I would show him he needn't not to worry. That he no longer could fear this. That I would always be there with him at his side. But It had been him who had left. Leaving his fear to consume him.

The only possible answer I came up with is if I had done something wrong. I wished I could have prevent him from staying but somehow, but I knew he would've left anyway I thought back and figured he had planned to do so regarding the outcome. That's what he meant wasn't it?

_"It would be kinder in the long run."_

He had been right. It would have been kinder. But at the same time I never would have thought about this happening, him leaving me. That day she showed how important I truly was to him, he gave me the truth about my clan hoping he wouldn't have hurt me. Kissing me, showing his _true_ feelings.

But it was all a lie wasn't it? His sudden disappearance left curtains unfolded. A mysterious disturbance. But it couldn't matter any more. _Give up. I need to give up._ It was pathetic. I acted as if he was my life, my everything. But he was, still is.

I continued to dream of him though. Dreamed of the times we had shared. Sometimes I'd dreamed of our first kiss, or our dance at the Halashamiral, and the time he removed my Vallaslin. Even the time I had fell _truly_ in love. Although, no matter how many times I dreamed of him he was still gone, and I told myself over again that he's never coming back.

I continued to journey more through out the fade and I came to a place, a magical place even one for the fade. A ruin. Not just any ruin but an Elvhen one. I focused on my surroundings carefully as it may have been a trick. As you enter the fade the dream you possess is based off your inner emotions, your mind set, a place you would want to go and at that time my emotions were based upon sadness and grief.

I entered the ruin and a mysterious figure had approached me, I shook my head, tried to stir myself from my thoughts. I threw back, my heart trembled only for a moment, just a moment before I held it steady. This figure had a glow, and I knew that my very mind was toying with me. Solas had smiled, but the very emotion towards that gesture shooked me, as it had almost frightened me.

"Did you find what you were looking for Lethallan?" He asked vaguely. My smiled faltered for a moment, worried almost. I told myself where I truly was versus what I had experience. I knew it wasn't _truly_ him. It was a demon perhaps who embodied my mind with my emotions to approach in his figure, his form. I played along for a time, for I wanted that moment to think it was truly him.

We explored the old ruin and I allowed him to teach me the ways of life these people once had just as the real him did. We picked up artifacts it left behind, studied them and my mind explored more into this creature. But I eventually grew weary. If I gave it more leverage it was soon to possess me and enter vaguely into the world I fought so desperately to save before.

I turned to the intruder and with a jiff of my hand, magic appeared and disrupted a part of its form. "You are not him, even in my dreams you continue to haunt me. Demon be gone." With a gesture of my hand the creature transformed to its true self. It was angry that I saw through its disguise. I fought it without armor. I casted spells upon it without my staff as it fought back. It's claws ripped through my gown and slashed me throughout my bodyg. I fell back, as it continued clawing me, slashing me, I wanted to cry for help but I knew no one would come. For I was alone, by myself, and for a moment I was afraid of death.

All of sudden there was a screech in the distance, a cry. Before the demon struck its final blow, a sudden dagger had pierce right through it and with a blink of an eye it perished. I looked up at the sky, struggling to breathing I felt something wet rolled down my cheek. The sound of flapping became clear and louder. A bird, the same bird from my balcony outside of my room appeared before my face. I wanted to thank it but I was slightly confused.

Why would I dream of this bird? Did it have any connections to the fade? Why would it save me?

It seemed familiar, for it stared at me with gentle eyes. It was saddened and seemed lonely. I reached my hand out to touch it as if where an illusion. The bird landed on my blinded hand and came closer to my face. A mere's breath away and its beak was an inch away from my ear. I was startled as it spoke and left stiffed. It was _his_ voice. It was _truly_ his voice.

"It's time for you to wake up."

In an instance I jolted up from my bed. I breathed heavily as if waking up from a bad dream. The cold air from the balcony brought a shiver. I was alone.

My shoulders slumped and I buried my face into my hands. I couldn't go on like this anymore. I let it out, let it all out. My heart was bound to him and nothing would change that. My connection can't be ripped away by force eventually is was bound to be my downfall. So I shooked it off, I shooked it all off. I jolted out of bed to put on my armor and descended the long run of stairs. I exited the great hall and traveled past the soldiers out front who were practicing sword play. There was one person I know for certain who knew of Solas. I slowly approached the tavern before entering. For this is it, no more.

I demanded answers to my undying questions. 


End file.
